7 months.

Here I am, sitting at my computer feeling more or less the same as I was 7 months ago. September 20, 2012, I was basically having a life crisis. I was torn between the most excited I have ever been, merely days from moving abroad; while at the same time never having been more distraught and upset to leave EVERYTHING I knew and loved behind. There was fear of the unknown, fear that I had made a mistake, sadness of what I'd be missing by leaving.

Now, I feel much less erratic than I did at that time. However, I still have the feeling of being torn. I could not be more excited to see all my loved ones, my cat, my dog, my car, my bed, my friends, cacti, desert sunsets, ALL of it. At the same time, I am so heartbroken and gutted (thank you uk friends) to leave this place and all the fantastic people I have met. Once the culture shock wore off and routine set in, Marseille grew into something so important in my life. I wouldn't say I love Marseille and I'd rush to live back here again, but I do love the grittiness, and the uniqueness, and I love how it has taken so much timidness from me and has forced me to grow. I spoke far less French than I would have liked, but I have learned so much more about other anglophone cultures and english than I could have ever expected.

Monday nights at the Red Lion for "language exchange". Drinking wine on Wednesday nights. Aix-en-Provence. Spending hours in cafes. Teavora. Charly Pizza. Cheeky students: "have you got facebook" ;). Creepy french men "vous êtes super". The Trollybus. Getting banned from O'Malley's. Notre Dame de la Garde. Laying around doing nothing on Sundays. Crack dens. FC Hangover 96. Birthday extravaganzas galore: University Party, Headfucker, Scavenger Hunt. Potlucks. Paul's party apartment. Boat Party. Christmas in Paris. New Years in London. Staying up until ridiculous hours. Working (less than) 12 hours a week. Vacations every 6 weeks. Beach at least once a month during the winter. Cathedral Majeur. Vieux Port. Cheap Wine. Marche Plus. Pissing off my rude, selfish neighbors.  90 la canebiere. Scottish Mac and Cheese. Caprese Salad. Sushi Son Crew. Learning how to tell (cold) weather in Celsius. Discotheque next door. Mini trip home. Planete Mundo Cafe. Cubaila Cafe. Guacamole. "This is Rachel, our Mexican friend". Music Exchange. Florence and the Machines. Ellie. Bon Iver. Martigues and day drinking. Olympique Marseille. Track Suits. Monoprix. Zara, Mango, Camieau. Lyon, Montpellier, Toulouse. Salsa in Paris. Paradise in Cyprus. Angers with Lea; playing wii with her family. Massilla Salsa Congress. Ataca and La Alemana. Boat Parties. Gare St. Charles. Kebabs. Scrunchy Cat. Messy Bun. And so, so, so much more....

So really, I ask myself, what have I learned? What did I get out of the last 7 months?
Well for starters, I am capable of  being a grown-up and taking care of myself. I've been fairly independent the last few years but I still always had my mommy there to help me, to advise me, to be my safety net. Turns out, I really don't need that safety net. I managed to tote myself around france (and the UK and Cyrpus) without the help of anyone but myself...and I wasn't even that terrified about it. I used to get little butterflies when having to do new things on my own but somehow, my survival instincts kicked in.

I've learned that I attract amazing people. I couldn't have asked for better people in my life the last 7 months. They listened to me bitch incessantly about how homesick I was, they took care of me when I was down, the made me laugh until I cried (like, daily), they partied with me until we couldn't anymore, they were there to share memories for me that I will hold dearly forever. I never expected to make so many friends while I was away. I now have more excuses to travel and see the world. Canada, Scotland, England, Argentina, even all over my own country... I cannot wait to meet everyone again.

Only time will tell exactly what I have gotten out of this experience, but for now I have discovered a love of life and a burning desire to see the world....