Here I am, sitting at my computer feeling more or less the same as I was 7 months ago. September 20, 2012, I was basically having a life crisis. I was torn between the most excited I have ever been, merely days from moving abroad; while at the same time never having been more distraught and upset to leave EVERYTHING I knew and loved behind. There was fear of the unknown, fear that I had made a mistake, sadness of what I'd be missing by leaving.
Now, I feel much less erratic than I did at that time. However, I still have the feeling of being torn. I could not be more excited to see all my loved ones, my cat, my dog, my car, my bed, my friends, cacti, desert sunsets, ALL of it. At the same time, I am so heartbroken and gutted (thank you uk friends) to leave this place and all the fantastic people I have met. Once the culture shock wore off and routine set in, Marseille grew into something so important in my life. I wouldn't say I love Marseille and I'd rush to live back here again, but I do love the grittiness, and the uniqueness, and I love how it has taken so much timidness from me and has forced me to grow. I spoke far less French than I would have liked, but I have learned so much more about other anglophone cultures and english than I could have ever expected.
Monday nights at the Red Lion for "language exchange". Drinking wine on Wednesday nights. Aix-en-Provence. Spending hours in cafes. Teavora. Charly Pizza. Cheeky students: "have you got facebook" ;). Creepy french men "vous êtes super". The Trollybus. Getting banned from O'Malley's. Notre Dame de la Garde. Laying around doing nothing on Sundays. Crack dens. FC Hangover 96. Birthday extravaganzas galore: University Party, Headfucker, Scavenger Hunt. Potlucks. Paul's party apartment. Boat Party. Christmas in Paris. New Years in London. Staying up until ridiculous hours. Working (less than) 12 hours a week. Vacations every 6 weeks. Beach at least once a month during the winter. Cathedral Majeur. Vieux Port. Cheap Wine. Marche Plus. Pissing off my rude, selfish neighbors. 90 la canebiere. Scottish Mac and Cheese. Caprese Salad. Sushi Son Crew. Learning how to tell (cold) weather in Celsius. Discotheque next door. Mini trip home. Planete Mundo Cafe. Cubaila Cafe. Guacamole. "This is Rachel, our Mexican friend". Music Exchange. Florence and the Machines. Ellie. Bon Iver. Martigues and day drinking. Olympique Marseille. Track Suits. Monoprix. Zara, Mango, Camieau. Lyon, Montpellier, Toulouse. Salsa in Paris. Paradise in Cyprus. Angers with Lea; playing wii with her family. Massilla Salsa Congress. Ataca and La Alemana. Boat Parties. Gare St. Charles. Kebabs. Scrunchy Cat. Messy Bun. And so, so, so much more....
So really, I ask myself, what have I learned? What did I get out of the last 7 months?
Well for starters, I am capable of being a grown-up and taking care of myself. I've been fairly independent the last few years but I still always had my mommy there to help me, to advise me, to be my safety net. Turns out, I really don't need that safety net. I managed to tote myself around france (and the UK and Cyrpus) without the help of anyone but myself...and I wasn't even that terrified about it. I used to get little butterflies when having to do new things on my own but somehow, my survival instincts kicked in.
I've learned that I attract amazing people. I couldn't have asked for better people in my life the last 7 months. They listened to me bitch incessantly about how homesick I was, they took care of me when I was down, the made me laugh until I cried (like, daily), they partied with me until we couldn't anymore, they were there to share memories for me that I will hold dearly forever. I never expected to make so many friends while I was away. I now have more excuses to travel and see the world. Canada, Scotland, England, Argentina, even all over my own country... I cannot wait to meet everyone again.
Only time will tell exactly what I have gotten out of this experience, but for now I have discovered a love of life and a burning desire to see the world....
Friday, April 20, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Why I love salsa
So, 1 year and 8 months ago I started dancing salsa....technically my journey began a bit earlier when Victoria would drag me out to Sapphire with her on Thursdays. At the time I felt SO uncomfortable and dreaded when people would ask me to dance because, well, partner dancing is scary.
One night, after faking my way through some dances with Victoria's salsa friends, I decided that I was going to get good and I was going to come back and prove myself. So, I signed up for Ritmos Latinos rueda casino classes, because I was told that that was the best way to get involved in the salsa community in Tucson. I quickly made friends with my classmates, many of whom were people I saw out at the clubs.
Quickly I felt a change start to occur. What had started as me being proud and attempting to prove that I'm not a failure became a full-blown addiction. Salsa was all I talking about, all I thought about, I looked forward to Thursday nights every single week. By spring I was dancing sometimes 6 days a week (including Ritmos classes and private lessons).
My first year of salsa was filled with a lot of self-criticism. Anytime I had an off night or a bad dance I'd beat myself up and not wanna dance anymore. May of last year I went my first salsa congress in Los Angeles; here I learned how much progress you can make not only by attending workshops but also by using your friends as resources to help you work out kinks in your dancing. This trip was definitely one of the first major turning points in my dancing.
Here I am, nearly a year later, having just spent my weekend attending my second congress. It has proven to be quite a reflective experience for me for many reasons.
Where to start?
1. Well I guess first of all, the fact that I WENT to the congress at all impresses me. I think this weekend has been one of my first indications of how I've changed since I've been here. For those that know me well, I'm quite a dependent person when it comes to going out. I can be a bit socially awkward so I like to have at least a buddy to go out with so I'm not sitting around awkwardly alone waiting for people. Even back home when I go dancing (And I KNOW I'll know everyone at the club), I still like to try and arrange for someone to come with me. With that in mind, HOW did I just go to a salsa congress completely by myself. I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit nervous Saturday morning. Going to a salsa class completely by yourself for the first time is a bit intimidating. However, somehow I managed to make it happen. I even chatted with some classmates (however speaking french while taking a salsa class in english/spanish is more difficult thank you think so most of the conversations were me responding simply with...ah oui....ah je sais...). Now that all is said and done, I freakin did it and I had an AMAZING time. It would have been nice to have someone to discuss the classes with or practice patterns with (which is part of what made LA so awesome), but I had such a great time I don't even mind.
2. Secondly, I was beginning to think my time in France had made me grow out of salsa. Sure, I've gone dancing a few times and sure, I've had GREAT nights going out dancing but it wasn't the same as home. In Tucson, salsa was always a priority. I would make plans AROUND salsa; didn't even consider making plans with anyone on a Thursday night. Here, however, salsa has taken a backseat. It just wasn't the same. I have 2 salsa buddies, and a few friends who were interested in salsa who joined me, but it still wasn't enough. The last few weeks particularly, I've just not felt as connected and I've had straight up bad dance nights. After this weekend, I feel a burst of salsa energy. All of the sudden I just want to DANCE. I am just so content with life and so in heaven. If my legs weren't dead I'd go out dancing again tonight.
3. Finally, I DON'T SUCK AT DANCING. In LA I had such a hard time with the classes, hell I've always had a hard time with classes. Here, I pretty much was at par with the rest of the class as far as picking up the shines and patterns. When did this happen?!?! Last night I went dancing at night and I danced SO much and got such a positive response from the guys I danced with. I was on SUCH a high.
When I get home I'm gonna take all the classes I can and really make an effort to make enough progress so that, by the time my two year mark comes around I can proudly tell people I've been dancing for two years.
This was definitely one of my best weekends in France. I am a salsaera. Salsa is a crucial part of my life and it will always be. BAILA!
One night, after faking my way through some dances with Victoria's salsa friends, I decided that I was going to get good and I was going to come back and prove myself. So, I signed up for Ritmos Latinos rueda casino classes, because I was told that that was the best way to get involved in the salsa community in Tucson. I quickly made friends with my classmates, many of whom were people I saw out at the clubs.
Quickly I felt a change start to occur. What had started as me being proud and attempting to prove that I'm not a failure became a full-blown addiction. Salsa was all I talking about, all I thought about, I looked forward to Thursday nights every single week. By spring I was dancing sometimes 6 days a week (including Ritmos classes and private lessons).
My first year of salsa was filled with a lot of self-criticism. Anytime I had an off night or a bad dance I'd beat myself up and not wanna dance anymore. May of last year I went my first salsa congress in Los Angeles; here I learned how much progress you can make not only by attending workshops but also by using your friends as resources to help you work out kinks in your dancing. This trip was definitely one of the first major turning points in my dancing.
Here I am, nearly a year later, having just spent my weekend attending my second congress. It has proven to be quite a reflective experience for me for many reasons.
Where to start?
1. Well I guess first of all, the fact that I WENT to the congress at all impresses me. I think this weekend has been one of my first indications of how I've changed since I've been here. For those that know me well, I'm quite a dependent person when it comes to going out. I can be a bit socially awkward so I like to have at least a buddy to go out with so I'm not sitting around awkwardly alone waiting for people. Even back home when I go dancing (And I KNOW I'll know everyone at the club), I still like to try and arrange for someone to come with me. With that in mind, HOW did I just go to a salsa congress completely by myself. I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit nervous Saturday morning. Going to a salsa class completely by yourself for the first time is a bit intimidating. However, somehow I managed to make it happen. I even chatted with some classmates (however speaking french while taking a salsa class in english/spanish is more difficult thank you think so most of the conversations were me responding simply with...ah oui....ah je sais...). Now that all is said and done, I freakin did it and I had an AMAZING time. It would have been nice to have someone to discuss the classes with or practice patterns with (which is part of what made LA so awesome), but I had such a great time I don't even mind.
2. Secondly, I was beginning to think my time in France had made me grow out of salsa. Sure, I've gone dancing a few times and sure, I've had GREAT nights going out dancing but it wasn't the same as home. In Tucson, salsa was always a priority. I would make plans AROUND salsa; didn't even consider making plans with anyone on a Thursday night. Here, however, salsa has taken a backseat. It just wasn't the same. I have 2 salsa buddies, and a few friends who were interested in salsa who joined me, but it still wasn't enough. The last few weeks particularly, I've just not felt as connected and I've had straight up bad dance nights. After this weekend, I feel a burst of salsa energy. All of the sudden I just want to DANCE. I am just so content with life and so in heaven. If my legs weren't dead I'd go out dancing again tonight.
3. Finally, I DON'T SUCK AT DANCING. In LA I had such a hard time with the classes, hell I've always had a hard time with classes. Here, I pretty much was at par with the rest of the class as far as picking up the shines and patterns. When did this happen?!?! Last night I went dancing at night and I danced SO much and got such a positive response from the guys I danced with. I was on SUCH a high.
When I get home I'm gonna take all the classes I can and really make an effort to make enough progress so that, by the time my two year mark comes around I can proudly tell people I've been dancing for two years.
This was definitely one of my best weekends in France. I am a salsaera. Salsa is a crucial part of my life and it will always be. BAILA!
Monday, April 2, 2012
But really, are any of us real people?
April 2nd. 29 days left in France, what the hell?
When I started, I knew time would fly...but I guess I didn't realize it would go by THIS fast. The last 6 months of my life have been SUCH a blur.
Cleared out my phone today and text messages sent in September feel like they were sent yesterday.
I'm so excited for the next, I'm gonna say...3 months.
April I'm going to try and live it up and enjoy the last of the time I have here as much as I can.
May will be readjusting to a life I once knew. I feel the same as when I left Tucson, but I know that I can't be. You can't spend 7 months in a completely foreign country away from everyone you've ever known for the first time and expect to go home as though nothing has changed.
June I shall be setting off to Israel for 10 days on my birthright trip. For those of you that don't know, every person with a Jewish parent is entitled to a free guided trip to Israel before they are 26. I know several people who have done this and they have told me it was absolutely the best experience ever. I cannot wait. I'm hoping it will further this year of self-discovery.
The last two and a half weeks have been really rough. Lots of stuff has been going on and because of that I am just ready to be at home and be around my family.
However, on the other hand, this has been SUCH a rewarding experience and I have met amazing people and I know that it won't take long for the nostalgia and the realization that I won't be able to just walk down the Vieux Port to see everyone hits.
It's been a Rollercoaster and I know I've complained about being here a lot but, honestly, I wouldn't change a minute of it for the world.
When I started, I knew time would fly...but I guess I didn't realize it would go by THIS fast. The last 6 months of my life have been SUCH a blur.
Cleared out my phone today and text messages sent in September feel like they were sent yesterday.
I'm so excited for the next, I'm gonna say...3 months.
April I'm going to try and live it up and enjoy the last of the time I have here as much as I can.
May will be readjusting to a life I once knew. I feel the same as when I left Tucson, but I know that I can't be. You can't spend 7 months in a completely foreign country away from everyone you've ever known for the first time and expect to go home as though nothing has changed.
June I shall be setting off to Israel for 10 days on my birthright trip. For those of you that don't know, every person with a Jewish parent is entitled to a free guided trip to Israel before they are 26. I know several people who have done this and they have told me it was absolutely the best experience ever. I cannot wait. I'm hoping it will further this year of self-discovery.
The last two and a half weeks have been really rough. Lots of stuff has been going on and because of that I am just ready to be at home and be around my family.
However, on the other hand, this has been SUCH a rewarding experience and I have met amazing people and I know that it won't take long for the nostalgia and the realization that I won't be able to just walk down the Vieux Port to see everyone hits.
It's been a Rollercoaster and I know I've complained about being here a lot but, honestly, I wouldn't change a minute of it for the world.
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