The Birthday Abroad

Today I turn 23, and I am in France. I was talking to a friend last night and she asked me what I normally do on my birthday. Well, to be honest, I usually do a lot with my mom. When I was younger she would take me out of school and to lunch and as I've gotten older we either do lunch or dinner and then she spoils me. So, naturally that made this years celebration a little bit of a bummer.

That's not to say this years birthday was bad, not by any means. In fact, my friends here have gone above and beyond to make this a wonderful birthday. On Saturday, I organized a College-themed party complete with beer pong and flip cup. Although we got yelled at by some cranky French neighbors and had water poured on us, it was an excellent celebration and everyone had a blast!!! They surprised me with balloons and cupcakes when I walked in and it was wonderful.

Today I took a trip up to Aix-en-Provence and had coffee with a friend up there and then visited their art museum. It was really nice and relaxing and it was nice to just get out of the city for a day. I woke up kind of bummed out, but I think I'm ok. I feel so much love and warmth from everyone (from home and here). I can also safely say, that this years birthday is a hell of a lot better than last years and I couldn't have asked for more.

A bit of focus

So I'm in a weird place. I've reached this strange stage where I am still homesick and want to go home but I WANT to be able to enjoy it here. I'm going to try really hard to be more positive. If I focus on the good things, then the bad won't seem as bad, right?

So I need some goals. I've kind of mentally set some goals for myself but I think it will be good if I use this blog to focus on those things some more.


Goal 1: Spend less time attached to cellphone

This is a picture that was taken shortly before I left for France. Basically I have been GLUED to my phone since I've had one. I intended to get a data plan for my cell phone but I feel like I don't need to be spending the money to be connected to facebook 24/7. Also, I really don't want to risk my phone getting stolen so if I'm going out and I'm not meeting someone somewhere I leave it at home. My goal is to not let my phone be my tether when I go back to the states. 

Goal 2: Learn to Cook

I'm having a lot of fun of learning how to cook for myself and trying new recipes. There's a great market right down the street from me that has fruits and veggies for CHEAP. I need to reduce my carb/sugar intake for sure. I've been eating a bit too indulgently since I've been settled and I need to settle because I definitely would like to benefit from all this extra walking and lose a few lbs/get into better shape. 

I also want to expand my recipe database. I am definitely my mother's daughter and I love kitchen supplies/cooking stuff so this should be fun. I currently have a lot of...random...food. And I am broke. So, until my supply of randomness is depleted I will be focusing on cooking with said ingredients. 

The above is my first attempt at crepes. They turned out decent enough, but since I am in france and I am big on making my own personal recipes, I feel the need to tweak it until it is the best I can find. I've decided that some of my posts will take a Julie/Julia approach and I will discuss my adventures in cooking.

Thus far my three favorite meals I have made are: Crepes with nutella (mmmmmm), Couscous with curry and tons of vegitables (Never knew I loved couscous so much...I will definitely be playing around with that more often), and tonight I made a breaded turkey breast fillet which I used some crumbled cereal with the flour to coat it....YUM (this one again will be using some tweaking so that it has a more personal touch).

Some basic recipes I have used so far are: (Keep in mind I have no measuring cups or utensils so I am literally using a cup which I assume is 8oz and my "table" and "Tea" spoons....it's worked out so far though so I can't complain too much!

Crepes

• (just over) 1/4 cup of all-purpose flour
• 1/2 tbsp of melted butter
• 3/4 cups of skim milk
• 1 egg
• dash of salt

This yield's about 3-4 crepes...I basically reduce every recipe I find the what I assume will be more or less single serving.

I think they need a bit of sugar in them, just for flavor. also I bought some "oriental" (which here refers to middle east and is somewhat confusing to me even though it shouldn't be haha) cinnamon so I'm going to try and add some of that in it.

I tried making them this morning with oil instead of butter in order for them to be somewhat healthier, but that did NOT work. The crepes took forever to cook and were greasy and not flimsy, they also didn't have very much flavor!

Couscous with Curry

• 3/4 cup couscous
• 1 1/2 cups water
• dash of salt
• 2 teaspoons-ish (to taste) of curry powder

Couscous is EASY to make. The first time I tried to make this it came out pretty bland. The next time I made my own chicken/vegetable stock which was AWESOME. I have made 3 full meals out of that stock!
For that I used:

• Zucchini 
• Some form of chile pepper I got at the market
• Carrots
• Onions
• Garlic

I also boiled in some chicken breast in it which added so much flavor to the stock. I used the rest of it with some rice and curry the next day which was wonderful.

Tonight's turkey I soaked it in some egg then, for the coating I mixed flour, corn flakes, and salt and pepper. The turkey was SO juicy and succulent. I tried to do some lemon garlic butter pasta on the side but i added WAY too much lemon!

From here on out I will be photographing and detailing my cooking adventures here as well as my daily life adjusting to France!

I need to figure out some desserts that I can make stove top...or see if I can b.s. some sort of baked goods because I MISS making cakes and cookies.

Solace in a McDonald's

So I'm sure everyone knows I safely made it to France. So you're probably wondering why no update?

Well to put it simply, I have been miserable and I just didn't want to talk about it.

Everyone has posted on my facebook how proud they are of me and how I better be having a blast and how they miss me and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. and I just didn't have to heart to say to them "I fucking hate everything about this and everything about this city and I am about an hour away from boarding a plane to come back home"

I've basically been a hysterical mess since my party on Saturday. Saying goodbye to the closest people in my life was SO hard. I know it's not permanent but I have this deep-rooted fear that they will forget me, or that in May things will be different and I won't click with them anymore because they changed. (I think I'm neglecting to realize the fact that I, myself, am in Europe and that I will probably change myself). I cried so much that night and woke up Sunday morning sobbing to my mom. Then the stupid battery on my cellphone died so I spent that afternoon panicking about that.

Monday morning I was in a daze. Beth came over to say goodbye and I was a mess. The rest of the day was such a blur. Airport to airport, my layovers were so short that it just breezed by. When I got on the plane from Tucson my carryon wouldn't fit in the overhead and these two men were trying to help me and when they told me I had to check it I broke down and started sobbing. The men were so nice telling me it wasnt the end of the world. Then this woman in front of me asked me if I was ok then reached back and held my hand. She was so sweet, and it really helped.

I got to France Tuesday evening and I was instantly a mess. I skyped my mom and beth and was BAWLING. The hotel was so lonely. I met up with another assistant for dinner which was nice. I woke up in the middle of the night freaked out and bawling and I called my mom sobbing. (My phone makes calls through WIFI which has been SUPER nice)

Wednesday I spent the entire day looking at apartments and was a fail. I cried all day pretty much. I was so close to packing up and coming home. I have never been so lonely in my life.

Thursday the teacher at my school picked me up so i could stay with her and i found out she had no wifi which sucked, what was i gonna do if i woke up in the middle of the night.

The next day I had my bank appointment and i found a mcdonalds by there and i ended up calling my mom hysterically crying. I did this probably 3 more times that day.

Every apartment I've looked at is horrible. I cannot live in a dark prison box for 7 months. The apartments I do like something else goes wrong. SO FRUSTRATING.

Friday I felt better at first. I went to look at two more apartments but when both failed I broke down again.

Saturday I met up with another assisstant and a couchsurfer and that helped. It helped to have people to talk to, people to express my frustrations to. That night we went up to the notre dame de la garde and it was beautiful to see the city at night. It helped to see more than just the dirty downtown area.

Sunday I felt quite a bit better. I got to talk to some good friends and the weather was gorgeous, I met up with Barbara and also another assistant Becca again and it helped so much just to vent about the program and everything to someone in person.

I think I'm starting to adjust. I just desperately need a home so I can settle. I can do without wifi and a phone for another week but goddamn I want a place to call my own.

Sorry for such negativity and for such a long entry. That's why i've put off updating so much because i dont want to be such a downer.

I just have to survive until december and it will be smooth sailing.