Where has time gone? I have already been in France for 6 weeks (to the date). I guess I've fallen into some semblance of a routine because I've barely even noticed how much time has passed.
I am hesitant to write about me feeling better and doing better because everytime I do, I seem to spiral back into a homesick depression.
It comes and goes in waves, which, from everything I've read and seen, is pretty normal.
I am the type of person who always looks a few steps ahead. Lately I've been finding my own place here, however, with that comes "what am i going to come may?" and I start questioning my future, what can i do to travel more, to come back to France, etc. So, instead of enjoying my time here NOW I'm looking for how I can come back. I need to stop. I've decided that after I get home from winter break I am taking every moment as it comes and not worrying about what waits for me after this.
I'm worried about money and worried about if I will be happy when I go back to Tucson, but I need to stop.
The meditation, I think helps. The best for me is when I dedicate positive energy toward those who have upset and hurt me. It's relaxing and comforting to not stew on negativity. I let people get me down and dwell on it, and I need to learn to let go.
I am in the process of planning a 2 week trip in December and it is giving me something to look forward to and be positive about.
I am really also enjoying this independence, while it sucks having to buy everything I need, it's a really empowering feeling and it's nice that, if I wanna go out until 5am on Saturday, or meet for lunch with friends on Sunday, I don't have to feel guilty or obligated to answer to someone.
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