Another one down

Month two is officially complete. I can safely say that this month has come to a close a lot more easily than the first. I feel like I've been here so much longer and the weeks are absolutely flying by. Things are starting to feel more and more like home here which is wonderful. Myself and about 10 or 11 other assistants from all over the world had a Thanksgiving which definitely led to a sense of home. We did it potluck style where everyone brought something to share and we all ate far too much and sat around all afternoon drinking, snacking, and chatting and it was marvelous. It definitely took away some of the sting of being away from home for such a huge family holiday. It's like all of us have formed our own little family and it's so nice.

My birthday is a week from today and I'm not dreading it quite as much as I was last week...we'll see how it goes when the day actually gets here. This weekend should be fun; we have a boat party Friday, I am having a birthday party on Saturday, and Sunday shall be a lazy day.

I went to a giant supermarket that was a bit far, but SO worth the commute. I bought some Christmas decorations and now my apartment feels a little more festive!!! I also received some bday cards in the mail from my family so that will be nice to open :)

The obligatory Thanksgiving post

Spending the most important American holiday in a country that is NOT America is not an easy task. I gave my students lessons on thanksgiving this week and last and, while they were interested, they clearly did not get it. The French (or maybe just the Marseillais) are not the most festive group of people and they were all completely fascinated by how all out we go for holidays.

My class nearly made me cry when they asked me if I was able to go home for the holiday and remarked that they were sad for me because I couldn't.

I went to the market to pick up some celery and garlic for my attempt at thanksgiving dinner. Afterward Barbara came by to chat for a bit, which was very nice; it definitely is a blessing to have a friend so close so that I don't have to be completely alone at all times. After she left I decided to cook my dinner; while it wasn't a terrible meal, it was NOT the same. I dirtied every dish in my house to have a 15 minute meal which caused some tears when I realized my stuffing was NOWHERE near my mom's.

However, I did somehow make some homemade gravy and I did do SOME sort of stuffing. I also purchased a little strawberry tart from the bakery downstairs which was phenomenal.

I am thankful for all the amazing people I have in my life everywhere in the world. I miss everyone in Tucson so dearly and I am counting down the days until I can see them again. I miss my dear Victoria in Korea who is in a similar situation to me and I am thankful for her empathy and that we can be there for one another. I am thankful for everyone I have met her in France and I am so glad that they are fun and supportive and keep me going from day to day.

Mac and Cheese

I have two days off in the week: Tuesday and Friday, however I only consider Tuesday to be my official "day off", I've been completely spoiled since I started college with not having classes on Fridays so, for me, even when I was working, Fridays have always seemed like a part of the weekend.

Since I have SO much freetime as it is I try and do something special on the day deemed my day off. Usually I will cook a little something special or go do something touristy.

The week before last I went to the beach (in the middle of November...and it was gorgeous).

 

Seriously....who am I kidding, Marseille definitely has some perks.
 

 

 The bus to get to the beach took quite a long time with morning traffic, which I can't say I minded much because (being the true American that I am) I love being in a vehicle. I was hungry and a bit tired by the time I was done at the beach, but I was tired of eating the same thing everyday. It then dawned on me how easy it would be to make Macaroni and Cheese...I had all the ingredients and I could make it on the stove...DING DING DING we have a winner!

I googled easy stovetop Macaroni and Cheese (to avoid the baked stuff or some version with a ridiculous amount of ingredients that would cost me an arm and a leg) and I found one that was made in one pot and boasted as the "best stove top, one pot macaroni and cheese recipe", SOLD.

My version of the recipe is as follows (only very slightly changed from the original:

1 cup pasta
1 cup milk
(if needed, additional 1/4 cup milk or water for final cooking)
1/2 tablespoon Butter
1/4 teaspoon Mustard 
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup Cheese; for this recipe I used emmental (a type of swiss), but I plan to experiment with other cheeses 
 
1. In medium sauce pan (about 3.5 qt), add milk, raw pasta, salt, butter, and mustard
2. On medium heat, slowly bring milk/pasta mixture to a simmer, stirring the pasta frequently as it comes up to a simmer
3. Once mixture comes to a simmer, immediately turn down heat to LOW. Pasta will slowly cook in the milk. Having your heat too high will evaporate the milk too quickly!
4. Continue to stir the mixture frequently so that macaroni will cook evenly and absorb milk evenly. If you don’t stir your mixture frequently, you will get a big clump of macaroni in the end! Stir, stir stir!

5. Cook for about 15-20 minutes or until milk has been fully absorbed. If macaroni is not cooked fully, add a little more milk or water  to mixture (in small amounts) until macaroni is fully cooked. This will take about another 5 minutes.
6. When milk has evaporated, stir in grated cheese of your choice. Stir the  cheese evenly into the macaroni.
7. Turn off heat. Place lid on top of pan and cover for about 5 minutes. This rest period will allow macaroni to plump up and absorb any excess milk.
8. Take a final taste and add additional salt to taste. Before serving, stir one final time to mix everything together.


The result:

I'd say it didn't turn out to shabby. It was creamy and cheesy and good and definite comfort food!

The Bucket List

I started this list YEARS ago, like no joke, I started this when I was on myspace, THAT'S how old it is. I mentioned it while having ice cream with a friend and it made me want to resurrect it.

Another goal by the time I leave Marseille is to complete this list. I'm sure I can think of 100 things to do before I die, especially now that I'm just around the corner of 23, I have more of an idea what I want out of this life. I've also updated it a bit to take out a lot of my 16 year old "Date a celebrity" goals hahaha

1. Live in a city up north, a city on the west coast, and a city on the east coast of the United States for at least a few months.
2. Visit all 50 states
3. Speak French fluently
4. Be able to get by in at least 4 languages
5. Live in France or some other French speaking country (Yeah!!!)
6. Get Married
7. Have at least 1 child and/or adopt
8. Graduate College
9. Go on a blind date
10. Have a role in a movie or TV show (even if it's just as an extra in the background)
11. Go in a hot air balloon
12. Go in a submarine
13. Go Scuba Diving
14. Spend $1000 on one shopping trip (not on furniture, or cars or something big like on clothes or movies or junk like that) and have not have to worry about regretting it
15. Buy a brand new car
16. Write a song
17. Have a decent paying job so I don't have to worry about money
18. Have a movie collection of 500+
19. Figure out what I really want to do with my life
20. Love my job
21. Start playing the violin again and get good at it
22. Do well in college
23. Own a business
24. Be a good cook
25. See the Goo Goo Dolls play live
26. Be involved in a concert tour
27. Perform something at an open mic night

28. Write a book
29. Give an attractive stranger my number in an entirely confident manner
30. Visit the Smithsonian
31. Go to Disneyland
32. Go to Disney World
33. Go on a safari in Africa
34. Spend a summer at a beach house
35. Spend a winter at a cabin the woods
36. Start a sing-along in a bar
37. Keep in touch with at least one friend for the rest of our lives
38. Make at least one new friend that I can keep for life in college (And soooo many more)
39. Write a screenplay
40. Hike down the BOTTOM of the Grand Canyon and not feel like im going to die coming back up
41. Take part in a triathalon
42. Read at least 1000 books
43. Find one thing in the world that makes me unconditionally happy and know that it's there for me when i need it (Salsa)
44. Be able to think about happy memories in my past without being overly nostalgic and sad
45. Make a full sized snowman and watch it melt all day
46. Cook a Thanksgiving dinner all by myself
47. Write my autobiography
48. Be able to gain respect and praise for something I love to do (Salsa Salsa Salsa)
49. See the Northern Lights
50. Visit Niagra Falls
51. Meet a hugely famous celebrity (Like Brad Pitt or Oprah or some crap) and have a real conversation with them
52. Buy a house
53. Learn to say "I Love You" and "Would you like to dance" in a minimum of 20 languages.
54. Get over my OCD
55. Have a darkroom in my home.

56. Take some sort of Dance Class (HAH! Look at that!)
57. Become a better photographer
58. Become a better writer
59. Take art classes.
60. Have irrefutable self-confidence
61. Learn to drive a manual transmission car
62. Stay up all night with someone and see the sun rise (or do it twice in the same week).
63. Be happy with my body
64. Go on a helicopter ride
65. Be on a reality show
66. Sit in the audience at an award's show/volunteer at one)
67. Compete in a salsa competition.
68. Dance on every continent in the world.
69. Teach a dance class.
70. Spend one day speaking nothing but French
71. Take an around the world trip.
72. Go on a cruise to anywhere.
73. Have the freedom to get in my car/buy a train/plane/bus ticket as a completely haphazard and out of the blue trip.
.....

An update

I am in freakin' Marseille, France and I have nothing to update my blog about, what is this? I guess it's just a lot easier for me to complain than to update the positive (I'm not sure if I should laugh about this or start a serious life reevaluation...).

I was sick for a good week and a half which resulted in a relapse to which I became incredibly depressed and homesick once again. Being sick and thousands of miles away from your mommy is awful.

I'm feeling better slowly, whatever this sickness is has been passed around through all the assistants so it's just been lingering around, ugh.

I can feel myself feeling more adjusted here. Life is becoming more and more routine and as I'm getting used to life here the culture shock is gradually wearing off so that's nice. I definitely still feel homesick every single day, HOWEVER, I can safely say it's been days since I was unbearably upset.

The people here are amazing and I'm pretty sure ALL I actually do is hang out and eat, which I can't really complain about. I'm learning a lot about myself and about meeting people and whatnot which is, I guess, a big reason why I wanted to come here.

It seems as though this program is divided into two parts, divided by Christmas vacation, which is nice. This portion is the uphill battle where I'm slowly learning exactly what issues I have and need to work on, and part two I see as working out the kinks and making some lifelong choices.

I think the most difficult part of this whole thing, is the overall sense of loneliness. Again, I'm definitely happy and I LOVE all the new friends I've made, however it's just not the same as the friends who have known me for years. I miss my family like crazy and I miss my cat and dog. I miss my best friends and just being able to call them up for ice cream. My sister just participated in the El Tour de Tucson and I missed it because I'm here. Thanksgiving is gonna be really hard, really, really hard. 

There's also the whole, being in a country surrounded by overtly affectionate couples and it getting colder and feeling the need to get cozy with someone. Yeah, THAT. That's really nothing new for me though, I've never been the happiest person around winter time. Maybe being here and discovering so much new stuff will change that....we will see...

Teaching has been going well actually. I would say 90-95% of the students are great. Half the time "class" literally turns into me joking around and just chatting with the kids, which is AWESOME.

Things are slowly falling into place....

6 weeks already?

Where has time gone? I have already been in France for 6 weeks (to the date). I guess I've fallen into some semblance of a routine because I've barely even noticed how much time has passed.

I am hesitant to write about me feeling better and doing better because everytime I do, I seem to spiral back into a homesick depression.

It comes and goes in waves, which, from everything I've read and seen, is pretty normal.

I am the type of person who always looks a few steps ahead. Lately I've been finding my own place here, however, with that comes "what am i going to come may?" and I start questioning my future, what can i do to travel more, to come back to France, etc. So, instead of enjoying my time here NOW I'm looking for how I can come back. I need to stop. I've decided that after I get home from winter break I am taking every moment as it comes and not worrying about what waits for me after this.

I'm worried about money and worried about if I will be happy when I go back to Tucson, but I need to stop.

The meditation, I think helps. The best for me is when I dedicate positive energy toward those who have upset and hurt me. It's relaxing and comforting to not stew on negativity. I let people get me down and dwell on it, and I need to learn to let go.

I am in the process of planning a 2 week trip in December and it is giving me something to look forward to and be positive about.

I am really also enjoying this independence, while it sucks having to buy everything I need, it's a really empowering feeling and it's nice that, if I wanna go out until 5am on Saturday, or meet for lunch with friends on Sunday, I don't have to feel guilty or obligated to answer to someone.

Live life

 

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