Here it comes

17 days and I will be on my way to starting the craziest journey of my life.

I am completely bi polar with my emotions, going between completely panicked and terrified...to so antsy and excited that I want to go camp out at the airport right now.

I still have no set place to live. I look almost daily but I just get quickly stressed and discouraged. Ugh, I don't know how to do this. I have no idea how to be an adult.

One of my closest friends left for Korea on Wednesday. That, coupled with a series of events that have occurred this week sent me into a tailspin. I spent about 90% of the day in tears. I didn't get out of bed until I had to at about 4pm. It was so rough. I think everything hit me like a ton of bricks. Her leaving made me realize probably one of the hardest parts of growing up yet, the fact that I probably will never live in the same city as all of the people I have grown up with and loved for the majority of my life.

Not only am I leaving people I've known for years, but I'm leaving a bunch of new friends who I have had barely enough time to get to know! I am thankful for the internet; facebook, skype, blogger, etc. because that way I will be able to keep in touch and keep tabs on all my wonderful family and friends.

There are so many changes going on in every single facet of my life that it's mildly hard to take at sometimes and it makes me wonder if I picked the worst time in the world to leave. However, on the other side of that, maybe I picked the best time. I'm not sure if I'd be able to cope with all this if I was caught up in the middle.

In some ways I feel like I'm still 16 years old. Naive, boy-crazy, and not a true care in the world. In many other ways, I am not that girl at all. I have grown up leaps and bounds in the last 4 years. I am hoping that all the lessons I have learned have prepared me to take on the world all by myself. We will see in just over 2 shorts weeks.