Meditation.

The other article I found was a guided script for meditation.

I've felt this sudden urge and desire for spirituality since I've been in France. I think it's because I've felt so utterly lost and I have no idea how to find myself; humans seem to have this natural urge to find themselves through external sources, such as religion or simply loved ones. It's particularly hard when you displace yourself to somewhere in which you have no one, so the loved ones part becomes difficult.
Although I am making friends, it's not the same as people who know me well enough to know what to say when I'm in certain moods.

I have wanted to find a synagogue, however, that is slightly scary because I've never even been in the states! I still want to though because even though I don't quite agree with organized religion, Judaism is the one which i most closely identify with.

The church yesterday was so peaceful and calming. I'm not sure if it was just because it was quiet in there or if it was some spiritual awakening that I had...I will have to explore this more while I am here.

So, after reading the meditation article, I gave it a try. I am going to try and do it daily to decompress and see if it starts to help. Tonight's session was kind of rough and I started crying as I sent positive energy toward my loved ones (however that may be a good thing, shedding tears can be quite a strong sense of emotion right?).

So for those who want to try, here is the script:

1. Sit quietly and comfortably.
   Sit in a comfortable way but without being in a sleepy position. For example, back straight, head up, feet on the floor and your arms gently in your lap. Breathing naturally. Watch your breath going in and your breath going out. Keep focusing on your breathing for a while.
   

2. Place your attention on the area in the middle of your chest and around your heart.
   Repeat to yourself gently and softly, feeling what these words mean:
   "Love, love, love, may my heart be filled with love..."
   As you say this, if you like, bring up an image of something that you feel caring and loving towards. It may be an image of a soft, lovable dog, or the serene look on someone's face, or it might be a baby, or the feeling of the soft fur as you stroke a kitten ...

3. Experience this feeling of warmth and love through your whole body:
   Feel the sense of caring, healing and soothing. Let it wash over you and through you while you gently repeat to yourself:
   May I be well, healthy and strong
   May I be happy
   May I abide in peace
   May I feel safe and secure
   May I feel loved and cared for.
   

4. Bring into your mind someone who is important to you, someone you like and respect.
   Engulf them with this warmth and caring. See them happy and smiling:
   May you be well
   May you be happy
   May you abide in peace
   May you feel safe and secure
   May you feel loved and cared for.
   

5. Do this with someone else who is equally important, that you like and respect.
   

6. Do this with someone you barely know.
   

7. Do this with someone you got irritated/upset with today.
   

8. Do this with someone who has hurt you/you are concerned about meeting in the future.

9. Radiate the warmth and love to people around you
   ... to everyone in your suburb, in your city, in the nation, in the world: May we all be well, May we all be happy, May we all abide in peace, May we all feel safe and secure, May we all feel loved and cared for.

Bring your attention back to yourself, so the feeling fills your whole being, breathing in peacefully, breathing out peacefully, at peace with yourself and the world.

I think that this, coupled with forcing myself to stop thinking about everything I MISS at home will do me a lot of good. Once I stop thinking, "I miss X, I miss Y, I miss Z about Tucson" I need to smack myself and say, well that's great about Tucson but I am in Marseille and there are a million wonderful things here.